To Italy

Right now, I have absolutely no idea what the reason could possibly be that God would suddenly take Iceland away and send me to Italy, a country I really haven’t been crazy to visit.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I was numb. I can’t really remember much from those days except how completely weighed down I was with discouragement. On Friday night at CEF headquarters here in Warrenton, MO I was still a little spacey and disengaged. I honestly just wanted to drown in my misery and whine and say God, you have no idea what you’ve just done to me. I’m giving up and going home. But he sent me a friend. We hardly knew each other but she could see that I was down and needed some encouragement. She came alongside me and spoke words that she could not have known I needed into my heart. She prayed for me and hugged me and I really began to feel significantly better.

For the next several days, it seemed that everything that was said in chapel or in group times spoke directly to my struggle to accept Italy as my new destination. Over and over again the idea that God would take our expectations and turn them upside down and once we trusted him, he would work mightily were brought up. Again and again we were encouraged to trust trust trust God.

And now I’m there. I don’t know what God’s up to but I am there. I am fully engaged, looking forward eagerly to God working huge ways in my heart and in my life this summer. I am repreparing mentally for Italy and I am getting really excited to work with the kids there. God has never let go of me and he’s not about to now. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Change of Plans

I feel as though I am horribly behind. In just a few hours I will be leaving for the Baltimore airport and officially beginning my summer mission trip. I can hardly believe the time has already come! And I have updated rarely or not at all and I feel bad.

Saturday night, May 31,  I got back from an extremely intense personal development/BOB/ canoe trip in the Adirondacks in New York. I was beyond stretched physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I learned so many things about what it means to pursue God and to put others first. We were also committed to finding out what it truly means to be a woman when all the outward appearances of femininity are stripped away. It was an amazing trip and I learned so much about myself and had so many God moments and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Then on Sunday I had my commissioning service. It was fabulous and I love my church even more now. *big grins* The rest of the week was spent with my dear friends and family and getting ready for my trip to Iceland.

Then on Wednesday afternoon as I was helping my friend pack the last of her belongings in boxes before her wedding this weekend, I got a phone call from CEF informing me that the girl with whom I was going to Iceland had backed out of the trip because of a sudden death in the family. Because they do not like to send summer missionaries alone, Iceland has been cancelled. But since I am open to going to another country with another team, I have the option of going to either Italy or Uganda.

At first I was completely in shock. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I wouldn’t be going to Iceland. I was mentally prepared for Iceland, I was completely thrilled to be going there, I had my shopping done and now I wasn’t going. And I know that Italy and Uganda are fabulous choices but you have to understand that I had my heart set on Iceland so there were quite a few moments that I could have cried on Wednesday night.

But when I woke up on Thursday morning, I felt much better about the change of plans. I went shopping again and spent the day packing my bags and spending time with my friends. It’s unofficial, I haven’t yet heard from CEF, but if given a choice, I will probably choose Italy. If I go there this summer, I will be living at a US military base, working with the kids of the soldiers. The more time I have to think about it, the more excited I get.

I would, however, appreciate much prayer on my behalf. One of the things we learned about being a woman on the canoe trip is that beautiful women are adaptable. I feel like I’m really going to have to learn that in the next couple of weeks as all my plans are blown out of the water and I have to rework everything. And to be completely honest, I do not do well with change. So yes, please pray.